Are you threatening me?

I appreciate a good threat. The more creative, the better. Whether you want to kick someone's ass, just beat them up, or however you want to lay your vengeance upon someone, it's good to get a good clever threat out to your adversary. Even if you don't plan on following through on it, you can get a good laugh out of it.

For example, I was talking to a friend of mine today and, as most guys do, we were talking trash to each other. I told him I thought his sister was cute. He told me that I doesn't have a sister. So I said that his brother had better grow a moustache so I'd know better next time. He replied that he'd put his foot so far up my ass, that we'd be walking home together.

I know that it's an old threat, but it's a classic. I like hearing it every now again. Speaking of hearing threats, here's a list of good threats I've heard over the years:

1. I'll stomp a mudhole in your ass and walk it dry.
2. I'll hit you with so many lefts, you'll be begging me for a right.
3. I'll kick bloody chiclets down your throat.
4. I'll punch you so far back in time, when you wake up, your clothes will be out of style.
5. I'm gonna give you a knuckle sandwhich.
6. I'm gonna rip your arm off and beat you with it.
7. I'll slap the taste out of your mouth.
8. I'll beat you to sleep.
9. I'm gonna knock your lungs loose.
10. It's only gonna take two hits: me hitting you, and you hitting the floor.

If you've heard any good threats, please leave it in the comment section. If they're really good, they'll be used for an edition of El Presidente`.

-Y2