Make like a tree and get outta here!

Certain people piss me off to no end. You know the type. These are people that bring nothing to the table of humanity other than to annoy and bewilder us. Now it’s human nature for us to want to kill them, but I’m not that spiteful. I would just rather they’d go away. That’s all I’m asking for. I’d like to see them pack their bags and never be heard from again.

This isn’t just limited to people either. There are a bunch of annoying things I wish would disappear. Hopefully, if I can make you folks aware of these people and things, maybe we can make them go away for good. So now, I’d like to present a new segment in the ‘Scribblings’ called the ‘Go Away List’. I now present our first candidate to leave us...

Oprah Winfrey:
General Mao, Pol Pot, Saddam Hussein, Oprah Winfrey. Don’t think Oprah’s name belongs in that list? Think again. Just like the others in that list, Oprah has a large, faithful following of supporters. Just like the others in that list, Oprah has limitless resources available to her whim. Just like the others, Oprah has the potential to torture the masses.

Don’t let the energetic entrances on her TV show, the car giveaways, the book-of-the-month club, or even the endless parade of celebrities crying on her couch fool you. She’s up to no good.

So why is she on the “Go Away” list? It comes down to two factors. Factor #1: She’s annoying. Her army of followers chanting, “You go girl!” makes every heterosexual, and even some bi- and homosexual men go sterile. Factor #2: Time magazine has named her on of the most powerful woman in the world. If you take those two factors and put them together, you get someone that has the capability to get on your nerves every waking and most sleeping, if she invades your dreams, second of the day. If you ask me, that’s just a recipe for disaster.

So Oprah, do us all a favor, take all of the money you have, buy your own planet, and move there…permanently!

-Y2